The Home Stretch

I had my last monthly doctor's appointment yesterday. It was probably one of the best appointments I've had so far, aside from the pure joy and emotion of seeing our little boy for the first time at our 19 week ultrasound. I was scheduled to come in at 4, but Dr. York had to leave early. So they called me a few days ago to reschedule and come in at 2:45 instead. The main purpose of this appointment was my Glucose Challenge Test, so I had to drink this orange-flavored sugary beverage an hour before I came in, and then have my blood drawn exactly an hour later. The drink wasn't so bad. I've heard of a lot of people who get really sick from the drink because it's so sweet, but it tasted kinda like flat orange soda or like Sunny D or something. I was kinda nervous going into the appointment because I wasn't sure that I had done everything perfectly for the test, plus I was rushed to follow a VERY set schedule between prepping for the appointment and following the job tasks I have to do at work. But once I calmed down, I felt much better.

So, when I came into the waiting room, there was something wrong with how they rescheduled my appointment. I think they cancelled it altogether instead of just moving it. But they went ahead and squeezed me in. I was able to go back into the office by 2:30 and was setting up my next appointment by 2:50. That's the FASTEST appointment we've EVER had, which we were happy about. When they weighed me, I had gained an additional 2 lbs, putting me at a total of 9 lbs gained for my entire pregnancy. Then I did my usual pee test and had my blood pressure taken- all still good. The nurse then gave me a list of pediatricians for me to choose from as soon as possible. She also gave me a packet to pre-register at the hospital, so that I'm not having to give all of my information and medical history while I'm fighting through contractions on the day I go into labor. She told me that I should be doing my childbirth class soon, and was glad to hear that we'd already begun, and then she had me go to the lab to have my blood drawn before Dr. York came in.

Once I was done there, Dr. York was ready to meet with us. She asked how things were going. I told her that I didn't have any concerns, but mentioned some of the newer symptoms. She frowned when I said that I was still throwing up everyday, knowing that it's within normal range, but not ideal by any means. I mentioned some pain that I was having right around my belly button, which I had figured WASN'T round ligament pains. She agreed and said that it was most likely my belly button stretching out, adding that the muscles are thin right there and stretch more. I also mentioned a pain that I get in more "unmentionable" areas, usually when I try to switch positions in bed or am putting on my pants in the morning. She said this was likely due to the baby's head putting pressure down there. But it's still not a constant thing- I think he's not fully rotated yet as I still feel kicks all over the place. I told her about my lingering cough after a recent cold, even though she didn't really have any response for that. And I told her about producing colostrum now, to which she replied that everyone seemed to be telling her that today.

She asked me what our plans for breastfeeding, circumcision, and pain medication during labor. She also asked who I wanted in the delivery room with me. And, she said that we should start considering birth control methods after the baby is born. This part was a little harder for me. She ran over the options of birth control pills, condoms, IUD's, etc. adding "it's obvious now that you guys aren't infertile, so we should make sure you're protected." To be honest, that remark stung a little bit. My infertility history is a bit complicated, in my opinion. We did go a full year without getting pregnant, which is the very definition of infertility. We also went through all of the infertility testing and were officially diagnosed (by this same doctor) with "unexplained infertility". She put us on 50 mg of Clomid and I got pregnant the very first time. But, had I not taken the Clomid, I don't know how much longer it would've taken. I also don't think it necessarily means anything that we got pregnant on the very first round of treatment. Without any infertility issues, some people get pregnant right away and others take longer. It says very little about how fertile or infertile they are. It says more about the way they timed things and MOST OF ALL, it says that this was the time that God appointed for them. Even those going through more extensive infertility treatments may get pregnant on their first IUI or their 4th, or their first IVF or a subsequent one. Everything could be working perfectly and it's just NOT the time that God determines to make the egg and sperm meet and implant.

I've wondered, in my own case, if the Clomid was just the boost my body needed. I've heard of lots of women who struggle to get pregnant beforehand, but easily get pregnant once they have been before. It seems to be that your body is just more prepared. And I've heard the same thing about getting pregnant after miscarriages (when their aren't specific medical issues involved). So, when people ask me how long we want to wait before trying to have another baby, I'm not sure how to answer. I certainly never thought I'd need birth control again when I was going through the infertility. Obviously the pills (or lack of) didn't make a difference. And, I don't know if I'll need Clomid again to make it happen, if it'll be even harder, or, in contrast, if I'll easily get pregnant the next time having now been pregnant once before.

And, it's not that I mind taking birth control pills since I can choose to stop taking them whenever we determine, and I don't think they affected me positively or negatively. But, my big issue with her comment is that it feels like it negates everything we went through in the past year and a half. It's not that I want to carry the label of an "infertile" with me the rest of my life. I'm not looking to play a victim role, but the fact that I am pregnant now does mean that I CAN get pregnant and, seemingly, carry it to term, but it does not mean that our infertility experience is null and void.

I digress.

Anyways, getting past that, she then had me get on the exam table where she measured my belly. She's always said this measurement was good, but I've never caught what the number actually was. So, I specifically asked her today. She said I was 29 cm. I verified that this number is supposed to correspond with the number of weeks you are, which means I'm a TINY bit bigger, but still within normal range (where they allow you to give or take a cm or 2). They won't change it unless you measure more than 2 cm larger than that. The only thing this indicates for me, though, is that I think that my due date is off by 2 days (which isn't enough for them to change it). To begin with, based on my last cycle alone, I figured that my own due date was August 23rd. Then, when I had my first ultrasound at 5-6 weeks, they said he was a little small and set my due date at August 25th. But then, when I had my big ultrasound at 19 weeks, they said he was measuring about 2 days bigger, which is back to what I originally thought. They wouldn't change it, though, without a week's discrepancy. And, now, being a cm ahead (even though it's the tiniest amount) just adds to my idea that my real due date is 2 days earlier than they say it is.

She also listened for his heartbeat and said that it was good, in the 140's. And, she felt my belly and said he seems to be growing bigger which is all good.

From there, she told me that I will start coming in every 2 weeks until the last month, which will then be every week. She asked me to go ahead and schedule all of these appointments at once. So, I went to the reception desk and made all of my appointments for the next 2 1/2 months- a total of 6 appointments. Six! That's it. And that's including every 2 weeks and every 1 week! The only way I'll have a 7th is if I'm totally wrong and Josiah comes late, which means I'll see the doctor a few days after my due date.

And, as a last appointment note, the receptionist did briefly mention that Dr. York will be out of the office the week of my due date, meaning that if I have any last appointment, I'll see another doctor. But, I don't know if that means she won't be in town when I have my baby or if she'll just be on call or something. It could also mean that she might induce me to have the baby before she leaves if she won't be available, or that we'll simply have another OB do the delivery instead. I don't know. More questions for next time...

This appointment just reiterated to Jesse and me that things are coming close to the end. We've discussed more and more specific plans for his arrival. I mentioned to Jesse yesterday morning that my appointments were going to start being every 2 weeks and then 1 week apart. I said that he didn't need to be there at all of them since we'd both be missing work each time, but that maybe in those last weekly appointments, he at least needs to be available. I could go into one of those appointments and find out that I'm already dilated and need to go into the hospital right then. I need to be able to call him and have him meet me there. He agreed, saying that he had already thought about it and plans on having his phone available at all times as it gets closer to the end. Also, when we watched the childbirth video earlier this week, Jesse's only remark about it was that it wasn't as graphic as he thought, but that he appreciated seeing the baby come out and be laid on the mom's chest after the birth. He said that it just makes him think more and more about that moment we'll have in the not so distant future. I love that he thinks about things like that. I imagine all of the time what it'll be like to see Josiah for the first time. We also talked about how I don't anticipate being one of those women who gets angry in labor and cusses people out and tells her husband to never touch her again. First of all, that's not my personality. But, more than that, even in the most pain possible, I have no logical reason to be mad at anyone in a situation like that. I know what we went through to have this baby and I think that I'll be able to stay focused on the big picture no matter what happens. We'll see if that's just me being naive... Lastly, when we went to bed last night, Jesse told me he loved me and kissed me several times. And then he leaned down to my belly and said, "And I love you" and kissed my belly too. I adore those moments. We can't believe how soon everything is going to come about, but preparing for it just brings both of us great joy, even if we don't have all of the details figured out yet. This is it. It's the home stretch!