You know you were wondering...

I wanted to do a little bit more of an update on the most recent ongoings of my family. Since my last post, Jesse's schooling got mostly worked out. It turns out that LCC reported that Jesse was offered financial aid for Fall, Winter, and Spring, but Jesse only accepted and received financial aid for Fall. So when Linfield went to award Jesse financial aid, he was maxed out. All he has to do is get LCC to sign a form saying Jesse didn't receive all of that money, and he'll get more from Linfield like he's supposed to. He's submitted the paperwork now. So, he just has to wait for LCC to submit it to Linfield. In the meanwhile, he's begun classes online this week. I think he's feeling a bit overwhelmed with the amount of reading and time for assignments, but I'm trying to encourage him to not give up. I know he can do it!

As far as the jobs, I'm going to still apply to each and just see what happens. I figure that if I even get offered the job, let alone an interview to begin with, I can always turn down the job if it doesn't work with our needs (like part time hours that change every week and are all over the place, making childcare or transportation impossible). However, if the job can help us, why not try to get it? Jesse started feeling a lot of anxiety about me being gone working while he's trying to balance his job, his school, his working out, and his time with the kids and with me. He was worried about how he could even do school or go to the gym if he was alone with two small boys. He could find a babysitter for working out, but it'd be twice a week during the weekdays, every single week! So, like I said, I figured it was worth trying for, but if nothing works out, then we're okay and I believe God will continue to provide for us in other ways.

Getting healthy is working!!! Jesse and David have both lost 20 lbs! I can see a huge difference in both. Their pants are just falling off of them! And, in Jesse, his love handles don't hang out, his face is thinner, his butt is tighter. He is just looking sexier by the week! He reminds me a lot of how he looked when we first started dating. He was only 18 then!

  

(Pre-marriage, skinnier)

  

(Post-marriage, heavier)

As for me, I lost 6 lbs my first week on WW. I also lost:
Bust: 1 3/4"
Rib-Cage: 1 1/2"
Belly: 1/2"
Hips: 1/4"
Arms: 1/4"
(none in my thighs)

That was last Sunday. Since then, I noticed that my boobs looked smaller in my clothes, so I measured my bust and belly again. I've lost another 3/4" in my bust in the last 4 days plus another 1/2" in my waist! So my boobs are shrinking at an alarming rate, but I'm still considering it all progress in the right direction :-) Furthermore, I'm down at least another 2 lbs, but I don't officially weigh in until Sunday again. I'm so close to my 1st goal of losing 10 lbs! I also made some motivational jars where you fill one with marbles to represent every pound you want to lose. Then, each week, you remove the appropriate marbles from the one jar and transfer them to the other to represent what you have lost that week. You can have different colored marbles represent milestones, or even use items like a ticket stub to represent an award you are going to treat yourself to at that particular goal. My jar has 70 marbles in it and 6 have already been moved!

As an update to previous posts about my marriage, I am pleased to tell you that we are doing awesome! We haven't been fighting at all. Any disagreements are handled right away and worked out in a short amount of time. I'm also working very hard on showing him love and affection on a regular basis, including just sneaking kisses in the kitchen, grabbing his butt when he walks by, initiating sex more often, telling him I love him, holding his hand in the car, telling him how great he looks, telling him how much I appreciate what he does for me, doing things like cleaning the house for him before he comes home. I would say that we are doing as good as we ever have in our marriage. Even though our schedules are hectic and things get stressful, we're working together on it and trying to be sensitive to each other.

Josiah... oh man! I need to do a whole post on Josiah alone! He doesn't get enough time in the spotlight lately. He is the light of my world! Josiah is 2 and 1/2 now, as of this week! He talks so much and blows me away with all of the words he'll say just out of the blue! We were looking through a book and he pointed and said "castle", "path", and "mountain". Words that I never specifically taught him, but he learned anyway! He's really into books right now, after going in and out of phases with them. He wants to point at everything on the page. "Door! Hair! Tree! Apple! Dog! Elephant! House!..." That's more the way he talks anyway. He doesn't respond so well to questions and isn't so conversational. But he knows TONS of words and can point at stuff everywhere we go and identify it. He's so curious about everything! Walking outside is an adventure everyday. He wants to run to the tree and jump in the puddle and look in the water drain where the sidewalk is. His other favorite activity right now is coloring. That boy could spend all day scribbling on a piece of paper. And he's even learning to draw circles or he'll tell us that he drew a cat. Overall, I'd say he's not too bad with the Terrible Two's. It could be a million times worse! But he does fall to the floor and collapse in a fit when he's told no about something he wanted. It's a fight to get him to not take toys to the grocery store or marbles to bed (afraid he could choke!). And, when he does get angry, he takes out his aggression by hitting whatever is closest to him- the wall, the chair, the swing, the toy. I kinda see it as his only way to express his emotion, but Jesse thinks it's wrong and will punish him immediately with time-outs. He actually does great in time-out. He'll sit himself down and get up when we tell him to. He comes to us and we explain what he did wrong and give him a hug. He doesn't respond as well to getting something taken away or receiving a spanking. The first makes him more irate and then 2nd doesn't phase him at all. He's such a big boy! He's somewhere around 37.5" and 37-38 lbs. It's a fight to get him to stand on the scale at the dr's office, though. He's terrified because he remembers the shots and having his ears examined and being restrained because he's fighting so much. He's wearing 3T clothes and size 8 shoes. He also is in size 6 diapers, but I'm hoping to have him potty trained by summer. He shows some signs of readiness, but not very many, and, frankly, the time to train him seems impossible when also caring for a (nearly) 4 month old baby! Summer seems perfect, though, when Micah is 7+ months old and Jaydon & Zoe are home for the summer- when I can have more time to devote to training him without struggling to just get enough sleep or always on the go.

I'll save my update for Micah for next week when I do his 4 month post.

I also have some new MOPS crafts to post! 

Oh! I also have FINALLY started working on my curriculum in order to get my certification as a Wedding and Event Planner! I'm about 1/3 of the way through the first unit. I'm hoping to devote at least 3 hours a week to studying, and hopefully I'll be done by the end of the summer. I'd love to make more of a career out of party planning, but I'm fearful about it. I'm worried that my friends can't afford to pay me to do their parties professionally, and that someone who would pay a professional wouldn't choose me. I have a close friend who is doing the exact same schooling, but I feel like she has a HUGE leg-up on me! She was able to intern for a wedding planner last year while in college. I contacted the business where she did her internship, but they wouldn't let me intern as well because I'm not in college anymore. She also has a pretty successful blog where she posts about wedding ideas and spotlights local wedding ceremonies. I feel like she's already made so many contacts and just yesterday went to a wedding show where she met tons of people in person. Furthermore, being married but not having any kids, I feel like she has way more time than I do to actually study. I'm a whole year behind because of having babies and caring for them! She has a heart more for weddings while I have a passion more for parties, but I know that the money is either in corporate events (which I don't feel as strongly about) or in weddings. So, I'm trying to educate myself in both, but I fear that she's going to be more successful than me, and while I'm so proud of everything she's doing, I feel inadequate in comparison. I even have two family members that are getting married soon, and neither approached me to even help them, and I have two friends that will likely be engaged soon, and if they chose a planner, I believe they'd choose the other girl over me. But, I know that I just need to seek God in His direction for my life, apart from what He does in my friend's life. He may want me to do parties more and give me the opportunities to do such events. And if wedding are where he wants to take me, He'll give me success in that field as well. And I'm excited to see what He has in store for me.

Ch-Ch-Changes!

I feel so behind on posting everything I've been thinking about! I haven't posted any of my normal daily things in weeks. For one, it's hard to post when you only have one hand to type with most times. For another, we end up all sleeping in late each morning, and by the time I make myself lunch, then feed Josiah, it's time to pick up my cousins from school and Jesse from work. And the evenings just fly by while taking care of the kids and showers/baths and dinner. But, since we're facing some potentially big changes, I wanted to post about it.

Big Change #1: We're getting healthy!
Almost 2 months ago, my brother David began doing the Paleo diet. My understanding, in the most simplified form, is that it's going back to the way they ate during "caveman times". This means, all natural, unprocessed foods. Think: meats, fruits, veggies, nuts, etc. About 3 weeks ago, Jesse joined David in the diet. David also began working out at this gym (CrossFit) and after going for awhile, David found out that the owner needed some people who would be willing to clean the gym in exchange for free workouts. This worked perfectly for us! Jesse would only have to clean the gym for 5 hours a month (totally do-able!) in exchange for 3 workouts a week (which is plenty!). I knew how much Jesse has wanted a gym membership and this not only was the only way we could afford it, but it's a GREAT deal regardless! Once both boys were eating healthy and working out, the peer pressure began! Oh man!!! I LOVE my food, and the idea of being deprived of the treats I love just makes me sad/angry/frustrated. Being overweight, "they" normally say you either eat emotionally, out of boredom, or excessively. I don't think I do any of the above. But I do VERY MUCH see food as a social activity. Eating out is something I do with friends for fun. And, while I may not eat excessively, I eat really unhealthy things. I live with a Mountain Dew in my hands at all times. I'd be happy to eat fast food everyday if I could afford it. My staple meals in the house have to be microwaved, most often including mac 'n cheese and spaghettio's. So, it's junk. And even though my weight has always been an issue for me, I've come to a point of finally accepting who I am and being content with it. I don't always like what I see in the mirror, but I don't hide in the background anymore or fear as much what people think of me. I'm glad to be in that place, but I would love to actually be PROUD of how I look, and, more importantly, be healthy for my kids. I want them to learn good eating habits and to not struggle in school with low self-esteem. And I want to be able to run with them and actively play without getting winded or not being able to keep up. However, I can't just say I'm going to eat healthier or cut down on certain things. I need a plan to follow. My brother first offered to come up with one for me to follow as a birthday present to him. I reluctantly agreed, but he never actually came up with anything. Then my mom asked me if I would be willing to do Weight Watchers with her, which I was really excited about. So, last Sunday, my mom and I joined the "get fit" trend and joined WW online. I've been doing great these first 5 days. I think I'm down about 7 lbs, but my official weigh-in is on Sunday. My first goal is to lose 10 lbs and my ultimate goal is to lose 70 lbs. Anything in addition to that is just bonus! So big changes in that respect and I'm looking forward to my whole family being healthier AND skinnier!

Big Change #2: Jesse's schooling... UGH!
If it's not one thing, it's another. So, after the drama with LCC suspending Jesse's financial aid for a reason that Jesse was never forewarned of, and then being told his appeal was denied when it wasn't, resulting in us losing his financial aid, Jesse walked away from LCC and decided to attend Linfield College instead. He found out all of the information, applied, registered for classes, and everything seemed like it was going to be great. The only uncertainty was his financial aid, but he filled out the proper paperwork to have his financial aid transferred to Linfield instead. We were hoping for a refund with the excess financial aid (as we've always gotten from LCC), but knowing that Linfield was more expensive, we weren't sure how everything would pan out. Turns out that 13 credits at LCC was about $1300 when 8 credits at Linfield was over $3000! And when Jesse received his award yesterday, he was informed that we were getting around $1300, which didn't even cover half of the $3000 owed! Ugh!!! We just aren't in a position to add another payment to our bills, but I really didn't want Jesse to give up on school just because of this. Linfield said the reason for such a low award was because the financial aid he received at LCC overlapped his financial aid from Linfield. But Jesse disputed this saying that Fall term ended in December and he's starting in Linfield in February, so an overlap is impossible. They agreed, but said he needed verification from LCC that he truly didn't receive financial aid in Winter before it could be fixed. That's on his to-do list for today, but this put a hitch in all of his plans. And, if, after correcting the error, we still don't get enough money, he has no choice but to quit.

Big Change #3: New careers? Maybe even moving?
When everything got complicated with Jesse's schooling again, we began to consider what other options we may have if school does not work out. Jesse has a good and stable job, and I don't think him finding a new job is really a good option. There's the possibility of him getting a 2nd job, but I feel terrible about putting that much pressure on him and for the amount of time he'd be missing from our family. So, the next possibility is for me to consider addition sources of income. This is not easy to do since me working would require childcare for our children. If I had set hours, we could arrange for daycare, but unstable hours would make it too complicated, I believe. Furthermore, depending on how much I'd make and the hours I'd work, we may end up spending more on daycare than it's worth for me to work. I could also work in the evenings when Jesse would be home and daycare wouldn't be an issue, but it means we would see each other a lot less often too. So, I browsed Craigslist and came up with 5 job opportunities that I plan to apply for:

1. Assistant Property Manager- this would mean that our family would move to a 3 bedroom townhouse in our city and I would help the apartment manager with office work and management needs. We'd get free rent and part of our utilities paid, saving us up to $800 a month! That's in exchange for my work, so I wouldn't be paid in addition to the free rent. No big deal. I believe it's about equal and covers our needs anyways! I'd also be able to work from home. I'm unsure about the hours, other than they're part-time, and how they would affect me taking care of my sons, but in that case we could afford childcare easily! I could even hire someone to be in my house with me during the day to help watch the boys if I have to run an errand. I emailed the complex to find out where exactly they are (I have to make sure it's not an unsafe neighborhood) and how the job may work with my kids, but am still waiting to hear back.
2. Office Janitorial job- I would work as part of a team that cleans an office building. I'd work Mon-Fri from 5:30pm to 9:30pm. Very set hours, in the evening, and Jesse would always be home to watch the kids. So I'd never have to worry about childcare. Not bad at all, although I'd miss my family being together at night. But definitely worth applying for.
3. Women's Boutique- seems like a very fun store. I have great customer service skills and retail experience, but not specifically apparel retail. I am a woman, though! It's part-time. I'd just need to know about hours to arrange daycare.
4. Office Assistant for property management company- I'm extremely qualified for office work. Just need to apply and see...
5. Attendant/Lead Attendant at mini-golf course- this is owned by the same organization I used to work for when I worked in the after-school program. I think I can definitely do the job. I do believe it'd be seasonal, though (through the summer). It could be part-time or full-time depending on if I'm the lead or not. And it pays well. 

(Depending on the job, I could also continue doing daycare for Jaydon and Zoe too)

Also, I posted about looking for a job on Facebook and got a few recommendations from my friends. Several people mentioned selling my crafts, both in Etsy and in stores, which I've done a bit of and considered doing more of. In March, my MOPS group is going to do a home business expo where the moms can share the businesses they do from their home (things like selling cleaning supplies, Avon/Mary Kay, and even my craft stuff). I'm hoping to have enough crafts completed to set up a table. This expo will allow me to talk to other moms who have home-based businesses as well and get some advice. And I'd be able to advertise my stuff and see what level of interest there may be in my crafts. THEN... I got an email from a girl who was my admission counselor when I enrolled in college 9 years ago! She had seen my crafts on facebook and works for a gift store in a nearby town and wanted to show my stuff to her boss. I may be able to sell some of my stuff in her store! I have replied to her and sent pictures of my stuff for her to show her boss. Now I just wait to see what she says. And, if nothing else, I'm hoping that her boss can give me some insight about the sell-ability of my crafts, maybe what they're worth or what degree of interest patrons may have.

Overwhelmed yet? I am!!! Now, I've got to update my resume, write cover letters, buy some interview clothes (maybe), and start preparing myself for some big changes all around! Please be praying for my family as we seek God's direction and strive to go forward, both physically and financially.