2 Months

Why is my baby so happy?

Because he's now 2 months old!

I'm REALLY enjoying being a mommy now. Things are now the way I imagined them to be. I knew when I was pregnant (and before) that there would be sleepless nights and cries that I didn't know how to answer. I knew that breastfeeding was "supposedly" hard (although I admit that I didn't understand why at that point and believed I would be a pro at it). I put all of those thoughts aside, though, believing they were realistic, but choosing to simply imagine holding my tiny baby in my arms and gazing at him all day long. I knew I'd be head over heels in love- I already was- and I figured that my love and excitement for him would overpower the difficulties of life with a newborn.

In truth, my love and excitement for him didn't overpower the difficulties, but did help keep me focused on what really mattered and rationalize my emotions rather than ever getting mad at Josiah. But the difficulties were harder than I imagined. And, I honestly think that the sleeplessness was the worst of all of the hard parts because it affected how I handled everything else. It's harder to be patient or calm or happy in a situation when you are SO tired! All you want is to go back to sleep and you're mad about everything that is keeping you awake. I knew I couldn't be mad at Josiah. He was just a baby and NEEDED me to feed him at 1 in the morning... and 3... and 4:30... and so on. But I would get so frustrated at the situation and just hold him and cry. Having said that, for those soon-to-be new moms out there, getting as much help with sleep as possible is the absolute BEST piece of advice I can give you! Everyone says to sleep when the baby sleeps, which is good to do as much as you can, but it's hard to sleep for half an hour here or 20 minutes there. So, my advice is, if possible, have others help you out. My mom would occasionally come over in the mornings before she went to work and just hold him while I could sleep just another hour or 2. This bigger chunk of sleep made a huge difference for me, and if Josiah woke up in the meanwhile (and didn't need to eat), then he was still taken care of. And, truthfully, most people really enjoy just getting to hold a newborn baby!

My friend Meagan, who is now 17 weeks pregnant, recently asked me what baby items I would say are the biggest lifesavers and the biggest wastes of money (recognizing that every baby is different). So, that got me thinking, aside from getting as much sleep as possible, what other things have helped me to survive- and enjoy!- these past 2 months.

I plan on writing about that soon, but don't want this post to be too long. So, in the meanwhilre, what's new with us?

Well, we seem to have gotten past the incubation time period since being exposed and have yet to come down with the swine flu. Praise God!!! Thank you for anyone that's been praying for us. I just couldn't imagine dealing with an illness like that in my newborn baby. I just look into his face and I want to do anything to protect him.

Out of my two cousins, Jaydon and Zoe (Zoe being the one who got sick), I think she's now doing better, but Jaydon is coming down sick. Of course, their mom, my cousin, has yet to talk to me AT ALL since the first symptoms arose. She just called her mom, who told my mom, who called me. Can I confess that that really bothers me?! It wasn't anyone's fault that her kids got sick or even that they exposed my family, but she didn't even call to inform me when I have a newborn baby. Maybe it's partly that she thinks it's all no big deal and continued to go to work all during the week and sent Jaydon to school and daycare (now exposing everyone else, in my opinion). I don't think Jaydon has N1H1 at this point. His symptoms just sound like a cold, which I've had too. So I'm not really sure about watching either kid this week. If Zoe truly is better and Jaydon truly only has a cold, I'd consider it, with lots of hand washing and disinfectant.

Another major thing going on is a crisis in our finances. We've been fighting with our phone company since June over our bill. It started with Jesse using the internet on his phone and running up a HUGE bill since we didn't have internet service and they charge us for every kilobyte used! So we added internet service to stop the problem. Then they told us that we would save a lot of money if we switched to a different plan. I didn't want to do it. I wanted to switch companies because I hate their's and our contract was up. But Jesse wanted to get a brand new phone so we switched to the new "cheaper" plan and began another 2 year contract. Then we started paying more per month (close to $200 a month) than we had before. The "cheaper" plan wasn't cheaper at all! Then we found out that Jesse HAD to be on this all-data-included plan because of his new phone, but I could switch to something else. So I got on the cheapest plan they had. But then I started going WAY over on my minutes. Jesse and I together never needed that many minutes, but on my new plan, nights and weekends start at 9 pm. so every call I make before that adds up. Now we were spending upwards of $260-275 a month! So Jesse went in and switched me back to his plan and everything was good, so we thought... When we received our bill this month, it was $479 because the plan switch wasn't effective until this next bill (although they failed to mention that) and everything I did caused us to go over again. I'm so fed up that I want to cancel my service with them all together, but there's a $200+ cancellation fee on top of still having to pay the existing balance.

Then, on top of that, I got a few of the hospital/doctor bills for Josiah's delivery. I got one for the room and board for about $465 after the insurance paid. That's due IN FULL by November 30th. Then I got one from the anesthesiologist for $935, which I can make payments on, but when I received my statement from the insurance company, it said I owed $0 for the anesthesiologist. So I called the insurance company who said my statement was wrong and they need to re-bill it. In the end, I owe more than $0, but less than $935. That's helpful!!! As I was talking to the company, I found out that the $465 bill was only for Josiah. His expenses are separate than mine. So I'll receive another $830 bill for my room and board along with several more bills for our doctors. I thought I had a $1000 max out-of-pocket so I'm not sure how that all works out.

Furthermore, all of our other bills are due, and we're only living on Jesse's moderate paycheck. And then Jesse's birthday is November 5th, mine is November 25th, and my mom's (whose 50th birthday bash I am throwing) is November 28th. And before the birthdays, we are already more than $700 short on our bills! That's only included minimal gas use, minimal groceries, and no additional expenses like diapers or toilet paper. I know that God always provides. And money is the biggest way He's proven this to me in the past. Jesse and I know that stressing out doesn't change anything and that we can only pay what we can afford. So we're just waiting to see how it all works out.

In baby news, Josiah is growing everyday and getting cuter and cuter. He smiles all of the time and just started laughing too. If you hold him up, he straightens out his legs really stiff and stands up. He doesn't use his torso strength nor does he have the balance to do it on his own, but his legs are strong and stand perfectly. Jesse thinks we have the strongest baby in the world! He's gaining a little more baby fat, but is still crazy tall. I won't find out his height or weight until his 2 month check-up when he also gets all of his vaccines. My guess is that he's about 11 lbs, 9 oz, and 24 in. tall. And I think that he's going through another growth spurt. He also grabs at toys more and more, and smiles at his mobiles. He is also learning to use his hands more and can grasp them together. If his bottle or pacifier falls out, he put his hands up to try to stop it and push it back in, but lacks the coordination to grab it perfectly. He's still in 0-3 month clothes, and size 1 diapers. I don't know how much longer either one will last. His clothes are still too wide on him, but getting shorter all of the time. He is sleeping for longer amounts of time. He usually wakes up once before 7 am, and then every half hour or hour until we finally decide to get out of bed. Like clockwork, though, on the nights Jesse gets up with him, he sleeps even longer. Last week he didn't even get up at all until 6 am on Friday night, and then on Saturday night got up at 5 and at 8am. Jesse says Josiah likes him more so he behaves better. I say Josiah likes me more so he wants to see me more often! I just don't know how he knows who's going to get up with him that night, and if he doesn't, how come it's so consistent? But, overall, we are loving playing with him and cuddling with him.

I think that's all of the major news. I need to do some stuff around here and it's time for the college football game to start.