We finally got my car situation worked out. I don't remember how much I shared about it before, but I sold my 1996 Ford Explorer that I loved because despite the fact that I loved it and always wanted an SUV, it was a gas-hog and I really needed to cut expenses wherever possible.
(And that's my house if you've never seen it before- with Jesse's junker in the driveway, and my mom's old car behind it that he's now driving.)
I went to the store this morning to get a few accessories for my car, and I wanted, in particular, a keychain to commemorate my new car. This is the one I got, which I thought was pretty fitting with our current situation:
Speaking of our house... yeah, that one in the earlier picture... we are going to put it up for sale as a short sale hoping to avoid foreclosure. I believe we made the right decision 2 years ago when we bought it, but our financial situation has changed a lot. The loss of income I have had in the past year, especially in the past 4 months, has made it difficult to pay our mortgage. We just simply don't make enough money to pay for everything. And we've tried to lower or rid ourselves of many of our expenses, but there's only so much we can do. I promise you, I've tried nearly everything. So, after meeting with our Realtor who sold us the house (and is also a family friend), we attended a foreclosure prevention workshop, and then decided our best option was to try to get out of our house one way or another. Our Realtor crunched some numbers concerning the value of our house and determined that short sale was the best way to go. However, this is not something she particularly specializes in. So, she referred us to another Realtor who has undergone extra education particularly in desperate situations. I found this out today and talked to our new Realtor for the first time. We have an appointment to meet with her Thursday evening to discuss everything that a short sale entails. We feel like it is the right decision and are anticipating a fresh start in a new house, which could save us $200-400 a month in our house payment. I'll know more about the process in the next couple of days, and I expect that we'll be moving in less than 3 months! That's kinda crazy thinking of it that way!!! We might be spending Christmas in our new house!
On the job front, everything has fallen apart, which is what sealed the deal on selling our house. It all began when my friend Camron (who got me my job at the hospital the first time) told me that my position was going to be available again if I was interested. It's my understanding that the director of the department is the one who brought up my name. We immediately felt like this could be the answer to all of our financial prayers. I made really good money and had great benefits at the hospital. I'd have to give up on staying home with Josiah, but was glad that I spent a year at home with him, and knew it was the right decision concerning our family's financial state. However, they were all under the impression that I was still on the payroll, as I was for quite a while after quitting. When it was discovered that I wasn't on the payroll, we realized that I was not eligible to apply. The job was, instead, only posted for the employees of both hospitals, including all departments. We figured there was no way that no one in the hospital would be qualified enough to be hired. So, I figured that position was out of the question and began to look at other possibilities. I applied to be a photographer at Sears, an office assistant at Thurston High School, an office assistant at Willamalane Parks and Recreation, and a bridal consultant at David's Bridal. I felt that I was extremely qualified for both of the office positions and already had history at Willamalane, working there in a different department. I followed up frequently on all of the jobs, but never received any call backs for interviews. I even got a rejection letter from Willamalane- not even an interview after working there for 3 years and 3 years of office experience. In the meanwhile, Camron told me that my position at the hospital had now been posted externally and I could apply online. It felt like hope was resurrected. Who would've thought that no one in either hospital would be qualified enough to be hired?! So, I applied the very next day and called the first following weekday to tell my old boss that I had put in my application. I left a message, but didn't get a call back. So, a week later, I called again and left a message. A few days later, I called the girl who took my position to ask her about when she was leaving and when they were hiring. She told me that they had 80 applications, but so far no one had been able to pass the tests given to applicants (which is why I was given the job in the first place above everyone else). She also promised to pass on my message to my boss again so that I could hopefully talk to her soon. Well, the next day, I finally got a call back and was able to talk to my former boss. She basically told me that they were "going in a different direction". That's all she said about why I wasn't being re-hired and I didn't think that I could ask her any more without being overly emotional about it. I texted Camron and told him. He said that he didn't know- he was just in charge of the testing and that was it. I was really hurt by the whole thing. I got along with my boss really well. She even came to Josiah's 1st birthday after me being gone from that job for a year. I went in every few months and would visit her. I enjoyed most of my co-workers and felt that most everyone liked me. I did well at my job, knew all of the details, wouldn't even have to be trained... but they didn't want to hire me. I cried for over 2 hours and then took a 30 minute nap before I had to go pick up the kids from school. I ended up with a migraine and spent the night throwing up. Great day! (Insert sarcasm here...) Getting a job is difficult in this area. There are over 3 million people in Oregon, and we have a 10.6% unemployment rate, higher than the national average. That means that over 36,000 people are unemployed in our state. I know I'm going up against people with 20 years of experience or much more impressive resumes. I'm doing the best I can and praying over every application, but I couldn't help but feel a little frustrated with God as to why I didn't get any job at all. I'm working on trusting Him. And, while I cried, this is what was looking back at me, and I will continue to do the best I can for him.
All of the current stress was taking a toll on Jesse and me. I felt like we were bickering more and on separate pages about everything. But in the recent days, we've been able to reconnect and get back on the same page. I think we're starting to feel hope in the midst of it all and would rather be in it together than apart.
Josiah is still the light of my life. He makes me smile everyday. I am so proud of everything he is. He looks more like a toddler everyday and less like a baby. He has grown leaps and bounds in recent weeks concerning his communication skills. He points at everything now and babbles about it. He mimics more sounds and says a couple more words or sounds like "uh-oh" or "hi". I'm hoping "mama" will come soon. He seems close, but I thought that back in May. It'll be a special thing for me when he is able to say it. He will point at me when we ask "Where's Momma?" and he points to Jesse when asked "Where's Daddy?" He walks everywhere now. Before, even when he walked fairly steadily, he couldn't stand up without pulling up on something. So, if he fell, he'd crawl to the next place, pull himself up, and walk again. However, he recently learned to stand up on his own and now walks everywhere! We are no longer buying jarred baby food and he eats whatever we eat, while trying to still emphasize healthy options. He is also (and has been for about 2 months) on whole milk and not formula. He doesn't have a bottle at all anymore unless I use it to lay him down in bed and make him fall asleep right then, which still doesn't happen often. Otherwise, he is only on sippy cups... and you know what, after trying like 5 different brands, the cheapest ones were actually the ones that worked the best. And, even more so, he learned the sippy cup on his time. I tried introducing it earlier, but it clicked when he was ready for it. He is sleeping without using a bottle (except for when I'm occasionally bad) and even though he cries for a bit most of the time, it usually doesn't last long. He typically sleeps all through the night for about 9.5 hours and then takes 2 naps a day, a 3 hour one and a 2 hour one. At his one year checkup, he weighed 24 lbs, 4 oz, and was 30.25 in. tall. He got 3 vaccines and did well with them, without any reactions. The doctor said he is perfect and beautiful. He has had at least another double ear infection and it seemed like he might still have fluid in his ears even after the antibiotics. I think tubes for his ears are in our future, but we need to check into the cost and insurance coverage. Josiah is such a happy kid, though. He is definitely a Momma's Boy, but he's opening up and attaching to other people. He is so snuggly and gives lots of hugs and kisses! He also plays a lot by himself, and I see him learning new things everyday as he interacts with the toys- pushing buttons and trying to put the block in the hole.
On top of everything else, Jesse is going back to school in a few weeks. I'm glad he's still pursuing his education, and I'm definitely looking forward to his financial aid! :-)
And I've been working on my wedding and event planning business, even contacting other planners in this area to see if there's a chance I could meet with them to ask some questions or even work with them. I did get a response from two of them, but am not sure how it'll all work out. I just want to check out some options. And I figured out that I could afford my certification if we do move. So, I could be done with my certification in the next year (or sooner) and have the title to go along with my name. In the meanwhile, I am helping a friend plan a wedding for next summer and have some upcoming birthday parties to do.
I'm sure that so many things in our lives will change in a very short while, but I think that it's for the better. It's scary and some of it sucks, but it's getting a little less sucky :-)
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