Why do I even assign things to days of the week when I'm rarely successful at posting it on time? You know why? Just because the names are catchy! That's why!!! I roll my eyes at myself... and then I write this on Saturday and publish it anyways. LOL :-)
Forget "Wordless Wednesday"! I've got too much to say!!! So, I want to use Wednesdays to share whatever is going on in my life or whatever I have on my mind. On Thursdays, I want the posts to have a spiritual emphasis. This means, sharing something I'm studying in my devotional (I'm reading "Jesus Calling") or something I heard in church or something that God is teaching me in the midst of my everyday circumstances.
Since I'm behind on posting these days, I want to combine them to share about something that's going on and how we're seeking God in the midst of it. So, my post today is regarding a problem with Jesse going to school.
The past week has gone better than "expected" as far as the stress level and how we're each coping with the physical and mental demands we have on us. He's been gone 15 hours a day, but I've been trying to make sure that he comes home to a clean and happy house. He's been trying to make sure that he comes home with a helpful and supportive attitude and make time for me and the kids. Overall, I think things have been better than they were before.
But to back up a bit, in the previous years that Jesse has attended school, he hasn't always been consistent with his classes. He's dropped classes mid-term and given up on school only to decide to go back later. A lot of this was in the midst of having Josiah, as well as struggling financially to pay our mortgage and beginning the short sale process. It was just too hard to focus and be successful in school when every other part of his life seemed so chaotic. So, when Jesse began the fall term of school this year, he was on financial aid suspension for dropping too many classes. In order to appeal this and be approved for financial aid, he submitted a letter detailing his reasons for dropping the classes before and his plan to do better now and was instructed to take a "getting back on track" course. He took the class fall term, received his financial aid, and ended the term with 2 A's and a B, all in the midst working full time and balancing a family with a very pregnant wife and subsequent newborn baby. Class ended in December and we were very proud of the work Jesse had done and his good grades. But then, just as we were about to go shopping, days before Christmas, we checked our mail and found a letter saying that Jesse was again put on financial aid suspension. We didn't understand what he had possibly done wrong and were certain that it must've been an error. But at this point, no one was on campus in the offices due to the holiday break. So we would have to wait until December 28th to even be able to talk to anyone about it.
That evening when we got home, Jesse pulled up his online school account and discovered the problem. The policy of the school is that you must pass 67% of your classes with a 2.0 or higher. His GPA was a 3.6 or something like that, and he had passed all of the classes this term, but when he looked at the classes for all of the years he had been enrolled in college, he found that he had attempted a certain number and passed a certain number, leaving him with a 65% pass rate. Only 2% shy. And because it was based on all of the classes he had ever taken, it really didn't matter what he did that term because no matter how good of grades he received, he wasn't taking enough classes to get him up to the 67%. We figured out that he only needed one more 2 credit class to have met the 67% rate, but no one ever told him this and now it was too late. We knew that it was possible to appeal the suspension again, just as we had last term, and Jesse even found online a place where it said that he would likely be approved due to the circumstances- having passed all of the classes he had taken that term despite not meeting the 67%. So, Jesse submitted his appeal immediately and we just had to wait for staff to be back at work after the holidays.
On January 9th, Monday of this week, Jesse's appeal had not yet been approved, but he felt confident that everything would go through and he needed to begin his classes despite not having heard back yet. So he bought his books and adjusted his schedule and started classes and homework. This was a new challenge for us, as I mentioned in previous posts, because of him working about 34 hours a week (only less than 40 because of the time he was missing work to attend class in the middle of the morning), attending class in the evenings, and trying to balance homework and family time. But he's been working very hard, as have I, and we've been successfully surviving this past week. Yet, as of Thursday, Jesse had still not yet had his appeal approved. So, he went to the financial aid office and was told that if he hadn't heard back yet, he probably was not going to be approved. The word "probably" made the whole situation really confusing and disappointing. Being denied seemed so unfair after everything Jesse had done, and yet there was still a possibility that he may not be denied...? And the timing of it added to the frustration. This was Thursday, and Jesse needed to drop his classes by Sunday if he wasn't going to receive financial aid, or we would have to pay the $1300 for the term out of pocket. And we were told that since appeals wouldn't be processed on Saturday or Sunday, then if he hadn't heard by Friday, he definitely wasn't getting accepted.
When Friday afternoon rolled around and Jesse still hadn't heard, he called the school and was told that appeals had already been processed. So even though he hadn't officially been told that he had been denied, it was implied so. This left us with the decision to pay out of pocket or drop out of school completely. We spent a lot of time praying about it and asking God for direction, and in the end, we felt like dropping the classes was the better of the two options. We weren't sure that we'd be able to pay for the term anyway, and since Jesse wasn't totally sure what career he was going for, it seemed unnecessary to fight so hard to stay. Either way, though, it meant NOT receiving the refund check we were expecting- a refund that exceeds our normal month's income and that we needed to replace Jesse's car that broke down as well as pay for a new washer and dryer that we badly need. And, without the check, our finances are pretty tight this month, leaving $7 remaining after paying all of our bills and buying minimal groceries and gas.
We're believing that God is in control, though, and telling Him that we trust Him even when there's a lot of fear. And in the midst of it, He's giving us peace and strengthening our relationship with each other. As I mentioned at the beginning, I am reading the devotional "Jesus Calling". I'll leave you with the daily reading for January 4th, something I've been reminded of daily since then and something I'm working on applying to each situation we face:
I want you to learn a new habit. Try saying, "I trust You, Jesus" in response to whatever happens to you. If there is time, think about who I AM in all My Power and Glory; ponder also the depth and breadth of My Love for you.
This simple practice will help you see Me in every situation, acknowledging My sovereign control over the universe. When you view events from this perspective- through the Light of My universal Presence- fear loses its grips on you. Adverse circumstances become growth opportunities when you affirm your trust in Me no matter what. You receive blessings gratefully, realizing they flow directly from My hand of grace. Your continual assertion of trusting Me will strengthen our relationship and keep you close to Me.
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