Finally!!!

After weeks of writing bits at a time, here's my account of Josiah's birth and how life with a newborn baby has been:

Dr.'s Appointment:

I went in Friday afternoon (August 21st) at 4:00 for my 39 week OB-GYN appointment. I had the initial weigh in and pee test and had my blood pressure checked. All of these things happen each and every week, but this time when the nurse checked my blood pressure, it was clear that something wasn't right. She pumped up the cuff and listened carefully, released it and started over, before finishing it with a dissatisfied expression on her face. Jesse piped up and asked, "Is it high or something?" She responded that it was. So then he asked if it could be attributed to anxiety. She said that while anxiety would elevate it some, it wouldn't impact it as significantly as it was. My blood pressure is usually in the 120's/80's, but this time it was up to 155/100. So, she said that she'd have Dr. York re-take it when she came in to examine me. When Dr. York came in, she examined me to find that the baby still was really high and hadn't dropped. And she determined that her previous conclusions of me being 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced were quite generous because I barely had any signs of progression at all. It seemed clear to me, though, that without the baby's head being low enough, I would never dilate any further, since the two go hand-in-hand. Then she checked my blood pressure and found that while it was slightly lower, it was still more than 145/95. (The exact numbers I can't remember anymore.) So, with all of this information, Dr. York said that the high blood pressure could be a sign of pre-eclampsia or simply gestational hypertension and, either way, was harmful to me and the baby if it remained and was untreated. The only solution to alleviate this problem would be to deliver the baby. Furthermore, because the baby hadn't dropped, we still could not induce due to the risk of a prolapsed cord. So, if we had to deliver the baby, it would be via c-section. From there, she wanted us to go to the hospital to do some fetal monitoring and lab work. If my test results came back all clear and my blood pressure went down, we'd be sent home and Dr. York wanted me to come back to the clinic by Monday. However, if the results showed anything wrong, even if the only thing was still an elevated blood pressure, we'd need to have a c-section. She didn't think it would happen that night because it'd probably be 11-midnight before they'd get around to doing it, but, if that were the case, we'd have the c-section the very next morning. Dr. York informed us that she would not be the one delivering the baby if we had him that night or the next morning, but that her partner would be. We had enough time to go home first. Jesse had come straight to the appointment from work and was wearing really greasy clothes. It also allowed us to get our last-minute items in case we were going to be staying in the hospital.

Once we arrived at the hospital, we were taken to a tiny admitting room in the labor and delivery wing around 5:40 pm. Apparently, there were so many people in this wing this night that women who were in labor were waiting for a room. My room didn't even have a bathroom, like most do. Instead, it had a bed and one chair, a computer for patient info, a monitor, a sink area, and a tv on the wall. It took quite a while for us to be seen by someone. My blood pressure was checked about every half hour instead of every 15 minutes like it was supposed to be. I had my lab work done and was supposed to receive the results in 45 minutes, but it was nearly 8:00 before we got the final results. By the way, according to the monitors, I was having regular contractions, but they weren't intense enough to be doing anything. Finally, Dr. York's partner, Dr. Haugen came in. He was a young guy with a really great sense of humor and was extremely personable. I actually like him better than Dr. York. He said that while all of my lab results were normal, my blood pressure was still too high. In the end, he said that we knew we were going to have to do a c-section no matter what and waiting would only put us more at risk of something happening. So, with that said, he added that we should go ahead and get prepped for surgery to happen as soon as possible, and he put a time of 9:30 pm for the scheduled c-section. I got dressed down in the hospital gown and took my last pregnancy pictures.

(39 Weeks, 3 Days)

And I called up my mom to come with my brother ASAP. When they arrived, we waited around anticipating that the baby was going to arrive really soon.

(My brother and I)

(Our last picture of "just the two of us")

And, as time neared, we gathered around together and prayed over the impending surgery and the birth of Josiah. But by 9:15, we were informed that another woman was going in for an emergency c-section because her baby was in distress. On top of that, another woman was fully dilated and ready to start pushing, so they were going to deliver her baby before doing my surgery. They estimated that this would be around 45 minutes, but could be up to a few more hours. During this time, my mom's two sisters arrived at the hospital and one of my cousins came too. The 7 of us hung out in the tiny room and time went on and on and on. We were really hoping we'd get into surgery before midnight, but the clock stuck 12 and then kept going. During this time, we had another time of prayer where my two aunts prayed over us as well. And then at around 12:30 am, they finally came in and said they were ready. From this point, everything was a blur of activity.

C-Section:

Jesse climbed into his white jumpsuit for surgery. It was really funny because we were really unsure that the jumpsuit would fit him at all, but it was the biggest one they had. So, he squeezed his 6'2" tall, 285 lb body into this suit. Then he slipped one cover over one shoe, and as he bent over to slip the second cover over his other foot, he busted open the crotch of the pants. I laughed so hard! Every time I looked at him with this gaping hole in his pants, I started laughing again. He put on his hairnet and his face mask and then they took me away.

(Jesse prepping for surgery. See the hole?)

I was walked down the hall to the operating room, and was immediately hit with the reality of what was happening when I saw the operating table and bright lights. They had 3 assistants, the anesthesiologist, and Dr. Haugen in the room. Everyone was really upbeat and had great, outgoing personalities. It helped to make the environment more relaxed and cheerful, especially being so late at night. I was seated on the side of the table with my gown open in the back. The anesthesiologist went over everything that was going to happen and described possible things I might feel. He was extremely personable and I enjoyed having him talk to me through the whole procedure. I then had to slouch over and kinda hug one of the assistants as they gave me a spinal. This was what I've feared more than going through a vaginal birth, but by the time I got to this point, I was at peace about the whole thing. In fact, the worst part of the entire process, from beginning to end, was getting my blood pressure taken. It was awful! The cuff would squeeze SO tightly that it would pinch my arm and my fingers would go numb. And this would happen again and again every 5 minutes! Anyway, the spinal went smoothly and I felt fine through it all. Once it was in, they helped me to lay down on the table and by the time they swung my feet over the table, I was completely numb. It was the feeling of pins and needles like when your feet fall asleep, but I felt it from the chest down. I did also experience a feeling similar to heartburn and a little heaviness in my chest, but just breathed through it and was able to make it through without getting nauseous or feeling like I couldn't breathe. They raised the paper curtain so that I couldn't see anything below my neck, and my arms were outstretched next to me while they monitored my blood oxygen levels and blood pressure through it all. They told me that they were going to pinch me really hard to ensure that the anesthetics were working, and I wasn't even sure when they did it, so that made everything good to go. They started to cut into me and then brought Jesse into the room. The whole procedure felt like nothing more than being poked lightly in the stomach (and that was the part where they were cutting me open). Jesse sat in a chair next to me and waited while they continued the procedure. My aunt later reported that Jesse entered the room at 12:47 and Josiah was born at 12:51 am, only 4 minutes later. Before I even saw Josiah, I heard the tiniest little cry come from behind the curtain. They brought him over and showed him to us and then carried him off to the next room. Jesse followed and there they cleaned Josiah up and Jesse cut his umbilical cord. When they were finished, Jesse was able to carry him back over to me and we took our first family photos while I was stitched back up.

(Proud Daddy)

(First Family Photo)

(Admiring His Baby Boy)

As far as surgery goes, everything went as perfectly as it possibly could. I was even told that I was the perfect patient and I should come back again soon. I agreed to come back in a year or two. I was then wheeled into a recovery room. I had to be there a mandatory of 2 hours, because of my blood pressure, before I could see anyone else. Jesse and Josiah were allowed to be in the room with me, but Jesse couldn't take Josiah out of the room. He was only allowed to take him to the doorway where my family could see him since they had been waiting for so long. During this time, they took my blood pressure every 5 minutes to make sure it was going down. They also put me on a medication to help it come down too. The only side effect I had at all was shivering, but I was kinda shaky before I even went into surgery, and I think it was more nerves than anything else. At first it appeared that my blood pressure wasn't going down and was, in fact, dangerously high at the 170's/100's, but we learned over time that my shivering was throwing the machine off. When they were able to hold me and calm my shivering, my blood pressure began looking more normal. I was still REALLY numb for a long time. They came in to test my reflexes and I couldn't respond at all. They would ask me to move my toes and it was the oddest sensation to know that my brain wanted my leg to move, but nothing was happening. (By the way, I've NEVER had any surgery or ever before been admitted into the hospital. So, this was my first experience with any anesthetics or medical procedure of any kind.) By the time that 2 hours had come and gone, my vitals were all looking good, so they allowed me to be moved back into a labor and delivery room. Normally, one would be moved to the mother/baby wing after recovering, but they wanted to monitor me closely because of my blood pressure. They started checking my blood pressure every 15 minutes and then every 1 hour and then every 2 hours throughout the night. Once I was back in the labor/delivery room, now 3:00 am, my family was allowed to come in and meet Josiah. Only my mom and brother were left. My cousin had stayed long enough to see Josiah through the doorway before, but had been up since 4:30 am the previous morning. My mom and brother weren't going to miss it for the world, though. They'd both been anticipating this moment for a long time. They took lots of pictures and then finally headed home at 4:00 in the morning.

(Proud Nana- meeting Josiah for the first time)

(Uncle David- my brother)

Jesse and I passed out from exhaustion! Throughout the night, nurses kept coming in and checking on me every hour or so. The next day, they wanted me to stay with very low stimulus to prevent a stroke or seizures (which apparently can be caused by the medication and/or the high blood pressure). They didn't want me to watch much tv, have many lights on, or have any visitors. Around noon, though, I had shown significant enough improvement to be moved to my official room in the mother/baby wing, where I'd be staying the next few days, and there, I could have visitors and go about my days normally.

(Meeting Grandpa Jim for the first time- Jesse's dad)

Hospital Stay:

There was some confusion as to how long I'd have to stay in the hospital since the baby was born just after midnight Friday night/Saturday morning. At first, a nurse told me that I'd be leaving Monday, counting 4 days as Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Then another nurse told me that I'd be leaving Wednesday, counting 4 days as Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Then, Dr. York's sister (also an OB-GYN, and the on-call doctor at the time) came in and said I could go home Tuesday most likely. I then planned on staying until Tuesday and then Dr. York (my doctor) came in on Monday morning and said that I could go home that morning if I wanted to. Since I wasn't expecting it that day, I decided to go ahead and stay one more night and leave in the morning rather than rush it. The hospital stay really wasn't all that bad. Before having the baby, I wanted my hospital stay to be as short as possible, feeling like I couldn't really rest if I was being poked and prodded by nurses all night. However, I really appreciated the help and effort from all of the nurses. They were able to help me through breastfeeding and brought me food and drinks regularly (and on demand). They helped manage my pain and we were able to take care of a lot of business in the hospital. By that, I mean that we were visited by a pediatrician (sometimes my pediatrician) once a day. We were checked up on by the OB-GYN on call everyday. A records lady came and helped us sign up for a birth certificate, a social security card, and newspaper announcements. Josiah was able to get his picture taken and posted on the hospital website, and we received proofs to order more. And, he was able to get all of his shots and tests done before being released, without feeling rushed to complete all of this before we were going to go.

Josiah passed all of his tests with flying colors. He got an 8 and then a 9 on his APGAR test, and they added that they rarely give out 10's because things like purple feet (which he did have). He passed his hearing test on one ear perfectly fine. It took them 3 times to get his other ear to pass, but they said this is often because there is gunk in the baby's ear after birth. Before they even left the room, though, within 15 minutes of his original test, they were able to get a passing result. He only looked very-slightly jaundice, but the idea is that the more a baby eats, the more they poop. The more they poop, the more they expel the elements that cause jaundice. This is especially true when the baby's poop begins to turn from merconium (their initial really tar-like poop) to their natural breast-fed poop. So, at the time that he had any slight jaundice at all, he was already eating really well and his poop was already transitioning, so he was already heading in the right direction. Furthermore, when they tested his bilirubin levels (which indicate how jaundice he is), he only had an 11.1, which they said is extremely low for a baby his age (just a few days after birth) and they felt that he was at a REALLY low risk for truly being jaundice at all.

The nurses were (mostly) great during my whole stay. I only had one nurse who kinda bugged me. She came in for the evening shift at about 4 pm one night. She asked me what my pain level was, which I stated was really low since I was just lying there, but told her that I was having A LOT of gas pain in my stomach. I don't know how much was due to the surgery (having my stomach cut open) and how much was due to the previous and current constipation I was having. But the gas was more painful than my actual incision. So, when I mentioned it to this particular nurse, she offered me a gas pill which should help. I gladly agreed to take it, but then she left and never came back. On top of that, I had been told that I'd have my catheter taken out just after dinner that night. So, this nurse was the one who should've come to take it out, but even though I mentioned it to her, it took me telling the CNA that I still needed my gas pill and to have my catheter removed before I saw my nurse again. It was now nearly 9:00 pm and when she did show up, she still didn't have my gas pill. On top of that, she made me get out of bed and walk around the room with my catheter in to prove that I could stand on my feet. This was the first time I'd been out of bed in nearly 48 hours and I had been on VERY minimal pain meds since I wasn't walking around at all before this. So, when I got out of bed, I was really shaky on my feet and in an intense amount of pain. She approved me to have my catheter out, though. She told me that I shouldn't just be lying around in bed, though- that I should be getting up and about and building my muscles back up adding that she had had 4 c-sections and knew all about it. This was contrary to everything every other nurse told me. No one had encouraged me to get out of bed before and had even told me that they didn't want me to even lift up the baby. They wanted to assist me in everything I did. In fact, after I got my catheter out, they still wouldn't let me get out of bed without a nurse being in the room to ensure that I was okay. But this particular nurse made me feel like I was being a baby about it and I also felt like she wasn't listening to me when I asked her for something. I mean, it took her 5 hours (and me asking someone else for assistance) before she even brought me the gas pill! But aside from having this nurse for 2 different shifts in the total 4 days, I had GREAT nurses who were really kind and caring and made sure I felt great.

The worst part of our entire stay was just the boredom without visitors. We really wanted to have more people stop by and see us, and we were expecting a whole onslought of visitors after church Sunday afternoon. But I think that most people had the false impression that I would want/need to rest and shouldn't have visitors. We still had a great group of visitors and appreciated all of the love and support from our friends and family. Everyone seemed ecstatic to see Josiah and everyone thought he was a beautiful and perfect baby (including the nurses).

Chad and Shelby:

Remeber that I mentioned before two teenagers from my church who were expecting their baby just 6 days before me? Shelby had been dilated to 3 cm for nearly 3 weeks without any more progress at all. I, on the other hand, hadn't dilated at all and wasn't seeing any progress either. Despite Shelby's lack of progress, I was certain that she was going to have her baby way before I had mine. As of that Friday, Shelby was 2 days past her due date and still not any further along, so they brought her in to be induced that afternoon. She went in at noon to begin the induction. I was already planning on going up and seeing them after my doctor's appointment and checking on how things were going. Unbeknownst to us, we were going to be sent to the hospital for monitoring after my appointment. Yet, as we were waiting to find out the lab results that evening, Shelby still wasn't getting very far. They finally gave her an epidural during the time that I was waiting to go into my surgery (between 9-10 pm). And, in the end, my baby was born at 12:51 am, and their baby was born at 12:57 am- just 6 minutes later! Chad and Shelby's baby, Aca Jack (pronounced like Asa) was 9 ounces and 2 inches bigger than Josiah. We were astounded by the coincidence of the timing, but I think it's really cool that they share the same birthday. I am still wanting to take a picture of the two boys, and all 6 of us, together.

Pain Managment:

The nurses were all surprised in the first 48 hours that I really wasn't on much pain medication. Every time they asked me what my pain level was, I told them it was a "0" because I was just lying there and felt totally normal. However, that was while I still had a catheter in and was only lying in bed. When it came time to take it out, I knew my pain was going to get worse as I started walking myself to the bathroom. So, I started taking my pain meds more regularly, but only to stay on top of the pain before it really set in. I still felt relatively great. When I got home, I chose to take my meds regularly to stay on top of the pain. But I really wasn't hurting too much, so instead of taking my pills every 6 hours, I took them every 8 hours for the first few days. Then, I began taking the pills only when I needed them, which was about once a day. And, finally, for almost 2 weeks I've been completely off the pain meds. I don't know how normal that level of pain is, but I have appreciated how great and fast my recovery has been.

Breastfeeding:

Oh, dear! Where do I even start? I feel like breastfeeding has been all over the field for me.

While in the hospital, right from the start, Josiah had a great latch. The nurses all boasted about how great he was doing and how well he was eating. It seemed like my milk came in quickly and plentifully and we were doing well. What I had the most trouble with was that Josiah would wake up crying immediately wanting to eat. Then when I'd offer him the breast, he was so worked up that he would arch his back and turn his head in the opposite direction and then get even madder that it wasn't working! But, once we could get him latched on, he grabbed on great and had a great suck and everything. The other problem I had was that one nipple was flatter than the other and he had more trouble latching on to that one. But, with time, it began to harden up and he was able to latch on better. During this time, I took as much help as I could get from every single nurse. I even had the lactation consultant come by several times and offer her advice as well. But, in the end, everyone said that he was doing exactly what he should be and all I had to learn was how to get him calmed down enough to get him to latch on.

When we came home, he was doing even better, not getting so upset before latching on. However, they always say that breastfeeding shouldn't hurt if the baby is latched on right. All of the nurses and consultants told me that if I felt pulling and tugging, even if it hurt, that was okay. I just shouldn't feel pinching and biting. So, it all seemed fine. However, what I think Josiah started doing is only taking a little bit of the nipple in his mouth and then sucking in the rest of it until he got the whole thing in. This was EXTREMELY painful and I would wince in pain every time he would latch on. I know that the nurses told me to make sure that the baby had a large latch and to break the suction and restart the baby if he latched improperly. But, each time I would try this, he would just get really frustrated and arch his back and scream and then when I got him latched on again, he'd do the same. So, it seemed like all I could do is wince through the initial pain and wait until he got completely latched for it to be okay again. Furthermore, just the constant moisture and aggressive sucking made my nipples really raw and cracked open, to the point where I started bleeding. At this point, it hurt no matter how he was latched. And, even more than I think most babies are, Josiah is an extremely agressive eater and I was just in constant pain.

So, after going to bed about a week after coming home and holding my breasts in complete pain as they were hot and burning, and previously being in tears during breastfeeding, I decided that I needed to do something differently. I've always heard that breastfeeding is hard and that you should try to stick through it, and I didn't want to give up so easily, but this wasn't working. So, also knowing that I am going back to work for one day next week to cover for a co-worker and would need to have breast milk stored for while I was gone, I decided to start pumping from just my one difficult side and still breastfeed from my other better side. The bottles I bought are a special "breastflow" version which are intended to go back and forth between bottle-feeding and breastfeeding, but even though Josiah took to both, he became even more aggressive when feeding. By the next night, I was attempting to feed Josiah out of one side and then pump out of the other and feed him with a bottle the next time. However, at two in the morning, he had a death grip on my nipple and was pulling his head side to side like a dog with a piece of raw meat. In utter pain, I decided to quit. I also knew that switching from pumping and breastfeeding wasn't helping me to get ahead on my milk storage. So, still wanting Josiah to have all of the benefits of breastmilk, I decided to pump exclusively, pumping every 2 hours (whether he needed it or not) to get optimal production. Bottle-feeding him this way also means that other people are able to help me feed him so that I don't have to do so much by myself. But pumping exclusively also left me feeling like a failure. I was worried that I gave up too quickly and was "failing" at some aspect of motherhood. Here I am with a baby who is a great feeder and have ample milk supply and I quit breastfeeding because it hurts too much. At this point, though, I still feel like pumping is the better option for my physical well-being and for Josiah to maintain getting breastmilk. And, I feel like I could still switch back to breastfeeding if I needed to. It's just been a difficult process so far.

Josiah:

Josiah looks so much like his daddy. He has Jesse's nose which is a really dominant feature in Jesse's family. He also has really long fingers and toes and long legs, which he likes to stretch out really straight and stiff. He is crazy strong! When he clenches his fist or throws back his head, he is so strong that I'm afraid to hurt him if I try to force him otherwise. I'm not sure yet whose eyes he has. Right now they are the deepest blue eyes, so deep you almost can't see the pupils. Jesse's eyes are blue, but are a much softer blue. I hope his eyes eventually turn green like mine. Otherwise, I hope they stay that deep blue. Rumor has it that he has my ears, but I don't really look much at my own ears, so it's not something I really notice. And his lip is really defined like mine.

(One Day Old)

(3 Days Old- Getting Ready t0 Go Home)

He sleeps most of the day and night (except when he wakes up to eat), but he has a few hours a day of alert time. When he is awake and alert, he focuses so intently on everything around him with really wide eyes.

He really doesn't cry much, except for when he's hungry or when we bother him by changing his clothes or diaper. It's not even really a cry, though. It's more like a yell, just to express he's not happy. He doesn't truly cry until he gets REALLY upset.

Being Home:

Having a newborn has been quite the learning process. I'm still in a state of disbelief 18 days after his birth. Being called "mommy" sounds bizarre. Saying he's my baby still sounds like I'm just talking out of knowledge, not out of true experience. I looked at him and held him in my arms and couldn't believe that this was what I carried in my belly for the past 10 months. But, when I held him tightly in my arms and kissed the top of his head, I was (and still am) overcome with love every single time. I can't believe that this tiny little baby is MINE. It seems like every day we're learning something new. From how to swaddle him to how to feed him, learning what he likes and doesn't like, adjusting to our new schedule- it's all been a process of trial and error. We think we've got one thing figured out and something new occurs that we have to figure out. I was also surprised with the range of emotions I felt in being a new mother. Before having a baby, I was always very confident in my parenting skills. I had VERY certain ideas about my parenting philosophies and never worried about what might happen if my child were to be sick or something. I thought, "Kids are kids. They get hurt. They get sick. They cry." But I was immediately hit with this intense knowledge that this tiny baby boy is 100% dependent on me and Jesse for his well-being. The first night that Josiah came home, I immediately was overcome with fear about him sleeping in his own crib in a different room. I worried that he might spit up in his sleep and I wouldn't know it. I worried that he might stop breathing or somehow smother (despite sleeping on a special wedge). I just couldn't imagine something happening to my precious little baby. I knew, though, that just like I had to surrender my fears about infertility and my fears about miscarriage to God and trust his sovereignty, so I also had to surrender my fears about parenting to Him and know that He was going to care for my baby more than I ever could. Continuing our nightly prayers, Jesse and I gathered at Josiah's crib and prayed for him that night (and every night) as we laid him in bed. And I sobbed the entire time. I've since adjusted quickly to allowing him to sleep in his own crib and believe that he's going to be okay. I just never expected to feel that way before.

Sleeping, or not, is something I'm still getting used to. I was used to getting up every few hours to pee in the middle of the night before. But having to STAY up and feed him, get him back to sleep, and then pump (if needed) before going back to bed (a total of 30 mins to an hour), only to then have him wake up again in an hour to an hour and half wanting to eat again! Jesse helps me out on the weekends, but since he has to be at work at 6:30 am, I let him sleep during the week. I can sleep until noon after being up all night if Josiah allows me to, but then I feel like my entire day is wasted. I just constantly run on a sub-par amount of sleep, but I think that's normal for new moms. The pediatrician said that by 1-2 months, Josiah should be sleeping throughout the night without waking- that's 8 hours of solid sleep! I'm looking forward to that!!!

(First Day Home)

(First Night in His Crib)

(Hanging Out with Mommy- 4 Days Old)

(The world from my point of view)

(Josiah's first bath)

(I wanted to get a picture of him in his cute bathrobe and he peed on me!)

(Tiny Baby Feet)

(In Daddy's Arms)

Dr.'s Visits:

We had Josiah's first check up on August 27th when he was 5 days old. He was already 8 lbs, 1 oz, surpassing his initial birth weight of 7 lbs, 13 oz. They were quite surprised, saying that they don't expect most newborns to pass their birth weight until they are 2 weeks old. The doctor said he looked great and healthy and that we were doing a great job. Then today, I took him in for his 2-week wellness check-up. He now weighs 9 lbs and is 22 1/2 inches long! He has gained 1 lb, 3 oz and 3 1/2 inches since birth. His weight is in the 51st percentile. His head is in the 42nd percentile. And his height is in the 91st percentile. See? He does take after his daddy! As for me, I saw Dr. Haugen the last week of August to have my incision checked out. He said that I'm healing great and he released me to lift more weight, to drive, and to increase my activity.

Dedication:

In final news, we had Josiah dedicated at church on Sunday, August 3oth. This is just a simple thing we do at my church where the family brings the baby in front of the church and we pray over him and declare that he belongs to God first and foremost. This was meaningful to me, especially, because my church was very involved in praying over us during our infertility and have been so supportive and loving through my pregnancy. The elders of the church prayed over Josiah and we stood with our family members as a sign of our entire family lifting Josiah up to God. This was especially significant to me because my brother just moved to New Mexico to live with my dad on September 5th. This was his last Sunday at church. It's hard for me for my brother to be a few thousand miles away since I just had Josiah, but he was able to be here for his birth and for the first 2 weeks of his life. And, of course, we'll be in touch with him and he'll be back for holidays. While it's not quite the same, I'm glad that coincidentally Jesse's brother Michael moved back to Oregon from Idaho on the same day my brother left. Since Jesse and I only have one brother each, and since Michael is now divorced and his kids are in Idaho, our brothers, my mom, and Jesse's dad are all we have. So, I'm glad that Michael can now be here to be a part of Josiah's life.

(My brother, My mom, Me, Josiah, Jesse, Jesse's foster brother, and Jesse's dad)

(Our family of 3 after Josiah's dedication)

(Josiah- 8 days old)

I think that's about everything. I'll close with a picture of my baby boy at 18 days old: